Lambeau Grade Book

Let’s get something out of the way in the beginning of this article. I am not a Lions fan. I have not been for a while (there will be more on this in a later column) However my son is. Like big time. 

So when I was presented with an opportunity to go to a rare potential win and in game NFL game. Also doubling as possibly the last home game (or game period) for one the legendary quarterbacks of the last 20 years. You don’t really think about it. You just take it. 

Following are my observations. I’m a former educator so I’ll grade them. Some are rather surprising, some not so much. From THE iconic venue in the National Football League….. cue the music and the voice of John Pasenda….. the Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field. 

The Pregame Scene 

I was pumped. I arrived about two hours early. I prepared my son for what he might see. Tailgating can be a little eye opening for a young guy. Especially one wearing a Aidan Hutchinson jersey. 

“You might hear people yell at you, we’re are all just trying to have fun” 

“You might see some people doing some really crazy stuff” 

Instead of mayhem we were serenaded by sound of the classical football anthem…..

“I never want to hear you say, I want it that way” 

That’s right, nothing says January football at Lambeau Field like the Backstreet Boys. I was fired up. I figured ok, not big deal there is no shame in jamming out to Backstreet. It was followed by another staple of January football. That’s right… Let’s get Jiggy With It 

Ok, no think pieces or social commentary about the slap. That being said. This is not the time to rocking the Fresh Prince. This is Lambeau. This wouldn’t be happening at Ford Field. The home of Detroit Rock City. We’d be hearing Kiss, the Nuge, or Metallica. Instead I felt like I was back at my eight grade dance. 

Grade: C  The effort was definitely there but I was expecting more 

Weather and Atmosphere 

News Flash. It was COLD! As I fought with my son to make sure he was properly bundled up. I had prepared another speech. 

“You are going to see a lot of people making bad decisions. That is their choice and they do this all the time” 

We then walked a few feet and saw a man behind his mini van shirtless. Someone screamed in approval. Then I heard the surprising response. 

In proper, non slurred, and clear English. The man replied: 

“Oh I’m just getting ready to put my undergarments on, it is quite cold” 

Huh? What is an undergarment? No “eh” in there? What was this? The Westminster Dog Show? 

As we continued on I saw nothing but people bundled up to the hilt. It was like a Cabela’s Fashion Show. I saw just as much neon Hunter Orange as I did Packer Green and Gold. I felt like I was at my local buck pole. 

Grade C  Cue the Taylor Twellman SVP drop “What are we doing?” 

At the halfway point. Lambeau is not off to a good start in the grade book. Spoiler alert that is not going to last long. 

The Stadium 

Here is where the tide started to turn. I’ve been to old Yankee Stadium. I’ve been to Wrigley Field. It is hard to quantify what makes something iconic. It just is. Lambeau Field simply oozes history. The new atrium is nice and modern (and heated). But it doesn’t feel staid or like an airport terminal. It just gets you fired up for the main event…

The walk down the narrow tunnel to the bleachers. 

There it was. In all it’s splendor under the lights. A lifetime of watching games flooded to my mind. Favre of course. The Antonio Freeman “catch” against the Bears on Monday Night. Matt Hasselback saying he was going to win it at the overtime coin toss. It all happened right here. I’ll never forget the look in my son’s eyes. I’ll just stop with the Field of Dreams stuff— but just know we were in that zone 

Grade A+ 

Seating and Pregame 

About the seats… I heard they were bleachers. But I thought in 2023 that would also mean somewhat new material. A little softer like a lot of new high school gymnasiums. I thought they would have at least been painted green and yellow. 

NOPE. Just straight up cold hard metal bleachers. Everywhere. Even up to the noose bleeds. Just metal bleachers with black faded painted seat numbers. I think I saw wooden bleachers closer to field. My high school had better seats. That being said in a word the seats at Lambeau were….. awesome!! 

And about those mild well mannered fans I saw in the parking lot?

I don’t know where those people went. These people were straight crazy. A true college like atmosphere. Pregame introductions were hyped. The Lions ran through the Packers warm up line. Their was true vitriol in the air. The response for Aaron Rodgers was surprisingly restrained (we’ll revisit that) The fireworks added some flair. 

Then the National Anthem. Where did they find that guy? It was like they took out an ad with a Hollywood casting agency for  “Packers Anthem Signer” He looked like a cross between Ryan Fitzpatrick and Jason Kelce. He sang like Pavarotti. After finishing the word brave. He switched off the falsetto and turned into WWE character. Raised his fist and growled “Go Pack Go” Awesome! 

Then guess who appeared on the video board? Charles Woodson imploring the fans to get fired up. I know he played for the Packers. But come on. That’s a Michigan man more than a Packers legend. This was next level trolling.

Grade A 

Game 

1st Half– I have gone into length about the how good the vibe was. That being said. I’m not gonna lie. By halftime I wondered if I was freezing my keister off to watch two mediocre football teams play a soccer game. You watched it. It was 9-6 and all field goals. Listening to 80,000 fans collectively hold their breath as a Mason Crosby kick barely clears a cross bar was surreal. 

More curious anthropological observations of the species known as the Packer fan. I figured out why they don’t spend any money on those cheap bleachers. They don’t sit don’t sit down— like ever. I thought maybe they stand until the first Packers score— nope. I’ve seen this before—they do it for defense. Once the Lions score— nope. Commercial breaks— nope. The Cheesehead Specierum (it’s real trust me) is similar to the horse. They do everything standing up. They eat nachos with thick gloves on. Truly amazing creatures. 

1st Half Grade A- a little let down from the pre game festivities 

Halftime: The cast of Fargo (kidding) came out and picked letters out of a barrel that spelled “Go Packers”. They held them up for crowd. They were often held upside down and sideways so that no one knew what was really going on. I think this was based on shall we say their varying “hydration” levels. 

After all the letters had been picked. The video board played a game of Plinko. The digital football landed on a “O” and a grandmother from Oshkosh won a new Chevy truck.

You can have your Rihanna every day of the week. Nothing says pure American entertainment like that. 

Halftime Grade– A

2nd Half– As you would imagine if you watched. The second half is going to be a sharp departure. Before going there. A few more in stadium general atmosphere observations. 

I grew up in a Polish Catholic community on the shores of Lake Michigan. My mom worked for radio station that played Polka music (it existed trust me). I once hung outside Jimmy Sturr’s tour bus in Frankenmuth (long story). I present that all as qualifiers to say I know what means to “Roll out the Barrels”. Or at least I thought I did. Listening to Lambeau belt out this anthem belongs within the stadium pantheon of Sweet Caroline and Don’t Stop Believing. A true sight to behold. 

There was also an all time Freudian slip promotion. A company called Ariens Snowplows (so Wisconsin once again) revealed a winning number by running a digital snowplow image across the video screen. Before the last number the PA asked are you ready for Ariens (pronounced Aaron) last ride across the field? I think you see where I’m going. From this stands this felt like Aaron Rodgers’ last ride at Lambeau Field. I think the a lot fans there knew it and accepted it. 

Here is where we are going to take a hard right turn. You know what happened. The Detroit Lions who were playing for nothing but pride. Walked into Lambeau Field and beat a Packers playing for the playoffs. They did it in the face of  questionable penalty calls. They ran a hook and ladder— a hook and stinking ladder—in the red zone late. They threw the ball on the decisive fourth and one. It was pure and utter insanity 

Then I watched another peculiar trait of the Cheesehead Specierum. These creatures that were yelling some of the more vile things I have ever heard at a sporting event. Who were more inebriated than anything I had ever seen at a Jimmy Buffett concert. They miraculously sobered up and became Mr. Rogers to my Hutchinson jersey wearing son. They calmly shook his hand and congratulated him on the victory. It was a stunning psychological and biological transformation. 

Packers fans weren’t the only ones who changed that night. I’ll expound more in later columns. But something clicked for your author. My Lions fandom went through a Grinch like transformation. The heart just expanded. I went from just trying to be a good Dad and keep my son safe and happy amongst a hostile crowd. To cheering with him and hanging on every single play. 

I went from cringing when he asked for the said Hutchinson jersey for Christmas. To dragging my creaky and frozen legs down 53 rows of stairs to be among a throng of Honolulu Blue chanting “let’s go Lions”. I watched Hutch do his Lambeau leap and Jared Goff gave my son a high five. It was a truly remarkable night. 

2nd Half Grade and Final Grade– A+

In summation. Lambeau Field is a top 5 sports experience. No way around it. However the story of the night was the Detroit Lions. Five years ago  if you would have told me a night like this was possible. I nor many others would have believed you. That’s not just a dig at Matt Patrica. It’s just reminder of the power of sports. Use whatever analogy you want. “One day at a time” or the more popular “bite some kneecaps”. But your author went from a hospital bed and a wheelchair. To enjoying an improbable night in Green Bay. Make a goal, find something you believe in, and fight for it. In life and sports the improbable happens all the time. Sunday night showed that once again in more ways than one.