The Laborious Lineage of Lions QB’s
That’s quite the alliterative title. What this article is meant to be with apologies for more L’s is a labor of love. Let’s be honest the Lion’s are having a moment right now. They enter a year with legitimate postseason expectations. That being said. I’m a lover of history. We can’t forget the legends of the Lions past.
However as the title indicates. This will not be a tribute to hall of famers Barry Sanders and Calvin Johnson. This will be an overview of the illustrious fraternity of survivors known as former Lions starting quarterbacks. Where to start with this motley crew? Let’s go with 1991. Why such an arbitrary year? That would be the season of the Lions last playoff victory.
I would be remiss if I did not mention the work of Rodger Sherman. They say imitation is the purest form of flattery. Sherman put together similar lists for both the Chicago Bears and New York Jets. They are funny and statistically detailed. I encourage you to check them out at The Ringer.
As much as I enjoyed those pieces. I couldn’t help but think. The Bears went to the Super Bowl with Rex Grossman. The Jets went to two conference championship games with Mark Sanchez. These lists have nothing on the Detroit Lions.
So without further ado. Let’s get to it. In case you can’t tell from the tone. This is going to be a pretty cynical list. One playoff win in 30 plus years while employing transcendent players at the three main skill positions tends to do that. So if you wear Honolulu Blue glasses. You might want to stop reading. Also in light of this purpose. Three players are going to be exempt.
The Trinity
Matthew Stanford (pictured) I shouldn’t have to write too much here. He’s probably going to make the Hall of Fame. He gave Detroit everything he had. Lived up the hype as a number one overall pick. Let’s keep it moving.
Jared Goff: I have a lot thoughts on the Lions current QB. Most are for anther column. He earns his spot here because frankly he’s still active. Wouldn’t be fair to pass judgement on his tenure at this point.
Eric Kramer: As previously stated. The Lions have had one playoff victory since 1991. Kramer was the quarterback for the game, He also didn’t stink and went on to start for another NFL franchise. As you will see from the list below. That is rarer than you might think. Additionally if you know anything about his post playing career personal struggles. I will not send any shade towards this man.
We’ll go from best to worst. I’ll also break up the bunch into three categories. Starting with…..
The Dr Sean Maguire Category
If you don’t get the movie reference. Dr Maguire was the Oscar winning role of Robin Williams’ character in Good Will Hunting. He earned that statue by passionately repeating “It’s not your fault” before giving Damon an embrace. These guys deserve the same treatment.
1) Charlie Batch– I could make a case that Charlie Batch is one of the more underrated players in recent football history. Provocative, consider this. Batch played the vast majority of his career with the Lions and Eastern Michigan University. For younger readers who do not know what mid 90’s EMU football was. We are talking European soccer relegation from Division I bad. In spite of this managed to be a second round pick. When head coach Chris Creighton retires. A statue needs to be built for his current accomplishments in Ypsilanti.
Then Batch was drafted by our beloved Lions. The bad luck continued after that. He barely got to play with Barry Sanders before his retirement. On the year of said retirement. Batch actually led the Lions to the playoffs. Ruminate on that for a second. The greatest running back in NFL history (I said it, I didn’t stutter) retired on the eve of training camp. Then a second year player in his first year as a full time starter led that squad to the playoffs.
We won’t talk about the playoff game right now. We will later. After that Batch struggled with injuries. A recurring theme of this list (I wonder why) We also won’t talk about his departure. This will be important down the road. Just know this. Some franchise with absolutely no success…. you might have heard of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Decided Batch was good enough to be a backup and spot starter for them. He went onto to earn two Super Bowl trophies. Ironically one of them was at Ford Field. Good for you Charlie. You deserved better.
2) Rodney Peete- I began my career in education. I like to think I was a decent teacher. Now with my kids in school and a teaching shortage. I occasionally get asked to sub or even in rare cases. Teach for a longer period of time. In these instances. I think the kids realize quickly that I know what I am doing in a classroom. I know the basics and the jargon. Which brings a certain level of comfort and initial success. However the longer I spend in one continuous assignment. The gaps and rust in my teaching ability begin to show.
I am a good substitute teacher. In football parlance. I’m a good backup. The record is clear. Rodney Peete is a good backup quarterback. Not a starter though. After leaving the Lions. Five other franchises including the Eagles, Cowboys, and Panthers among them felt the same way. Carving out an 11 year career in that role. In his five years with Detroit. Peete started 47 games. He did an admirable job. But once again Rodney. It wasn’t your role and more importantly “it’s not your fault”
3) Jon Kitna The last player in this grouping. That should give you an idea of the dark turn this list is going to take. Kitna capably bridged the gap between glory days of the Joey Harrington era and Matthew Stafford. Signed to compete with Josh McCown for the starting job. Let that sentence sink in for a minute. Kitna won the job and gave Lions two years of solid starting quarterback play. It’s not a high bar to clear. But Kitna cleared it.
The Christopher Walken Category
Sticking with the cinematic theme. Walken is the proven veteran who comes in for a short period time and simply chews scenes. Like a lot of Walken parts. You might not be sure why he is there. You might not be sure if his performance was even good. But it will definitely make things interesting.
4) Jeff Garcia– One of the great underdog stories in NFL history. An undersized player who had to toil in the CFL before finding success with his hometown 49ers. The four time Pro Bowler weathered controversy with Terrell Owens and played for the expansion era Browns. So he’s seen some stuff. He only needed a four game audition in relief of Joey Harrington to decide he had seen enough of the Motor City. After leaving Detroit he would go on to lead both the Eagles and Buccaneers to the playoffs. Might have messed that one up a little.
5) Dave Krieg– Speaking of messing things up. The Lions signed Krieg. A 35 year old to back up Scott Mitchell in 1994. Trust me kids 35 was old to be a QB once upon a time. The greatest pre-Wilson Seahawk quarterback saved the Lions season. Leading them to a playoff appearance. It was the best statistical season of Krieg’s very long career How was he rewarded? The Lions released him and stuck with Mitchell.
6) Don Majikowski- Speaking of Magic. In his time this quarterback was known as the “Majik Man”. However historically he is more known as the Green Bay Packers Wally Pipp. His injury opened the door for an unknown second year player named Brett Farve to take over. I remember him for a majestic mullet, but I digress. Majikowski did have one memorable start in Detroit. A victory in place of Mitchell to get the Lions to 5-6 in the 1996 season. Remember that number. The Lions elected to stick with Scott Mitchell (is a theme developing) Mitchell led the squad 5-11 record the rest of the way (that’s winless if math isn’t your thing)
7) Frank Reich- The fact that “Captain Comeback” virtually left no mark in his two year tenure should be telling. He earned that moniker by authoring not one, but two of the greatest comebacks in football history (college and pro) He also coordinated an offense that allowed Nick Foles to defeat Tom Brady in a Super Bowl. Reich’s whole resume is built upon making the impossible possible. Despite reuniting with his college head coach Bobby Ross and getting ample opportunity (12 games, 2 starts) The magic did follow Reich to Detroit.
8) Duante Culpepper- For younger readers or the uninitiated. Culpepper was a dude. Built like an offensive lineman but athletic. With an absolute cannon for an arm. In one of the great “sliding doors” moments in NFL history. Nick Saban once chose Culpepper over Drew Brees as his QB in Miami. That athletic marvel was not the Culpepper the Lions got. Ravaged by years of injury. The Lions actually lured him out of a brief retirement to play for the squad. That’s probably not a good sign. As you would expect. Culpepper’s two year stay in Detroit was his last NFL stop.
The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Category
This is a deep literary pull. My AP English teacher would be proud of me. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were unique characters from Shakespeare’s Hamlet. They were two characters always presented together and completely indistinguishable from each other. The common belief is that the Bard gave them indistinguishable characteristics because they were meant to represent a larger group or community of people. A nameless faceless mob. I think that is accurate way to describe the next seven players. Just a bunch of backups. With exceptions not much research for this group. I’ll sprinkle in things I remember, but it won’t be much.
9) Shaun Hill- The prototype for a journeyman backup quarterback. Started 10 games for the Lions. I have virtually no memory of them. Complete ambivalence about his tenure. That gets you into the top 10 of this exclusive list
10) Tim Boyle-The most recent entry on this list. The best Lions quarterback to come from the football hotbed of Connecticut. You scoff, but that factoid will be more important in a minute.
11) David Blough – Once again the less I know or remember from this anonymous bunch. The higher your placement. I’m not even sure how to pronounce this last name. Does it rhyme with “wow” or “bluff”. I know he just got cut by the Arizona Cardinals. They don’t even have a quarterback and are trying to be bad. Does that make him good? I’m so confused.
12) Mike McMahon- I remember Jim McMahon. I don’t remember Mike McMahon. It appears he was well liked by Marty Mornhinweg— that’s not good. Mornhinweg traded for him after moving onto to run the offense in Philadelphia. McMahon took over for an injured Donovan McNabb. However he was released when the Eagles signed… wait for it… fresh off his Lions tenure… Jeff Garcia. Our circles are starting to intersect. This is getting dangerous.
13) Jeff Driskell– He played at Florida. That’s all I got. Maybe he is in that new four part Netflix special about the Swamp. I’m guessing his time in Gainesville was more eventful.
14) Drew Stanton- Amazingly only one of two local products on this list. Which is staggering if you think about it. In over thirty years. The Lions found nary a player from East Lansing or Ann Arbor who could take snaps? Maybe take a late round flyer on Tom Brady? Or I don’t know even Kirk Cousins? Back to the top of our list and Charlie Batch. If the Lions were going local. They looked to Ypsilanti. That seems logical enough.
15) Stoney Case- Only one start in the 2000 season. But a true legend. Where to start? How about the name? That is his real given name. Has a brother named Stormy. I’d like to meet the parents. He wore #25 as a QB at New Mexico. Was the trigger man at Odessa Permian. Better known as the Texas high school immortalized in Friday Night Lights. From the game to the name. Case’s career was made for TV. His Lions tenure was not.
and then there were six….
No high brow cinematic or literary references from this bunch. Let’s just grit our teeth get through it.
16) Dan Orlovsky- The second best quarterback from Connecticut on this esteemed list. That’s not a compliment. Orlovsky is on the Gary Danielson plan. Trying to move beyond his Lions tenure by endeavoring into successful media career. He’s off to a good start. I would have loved to put him in the first group. Seems like a good guy stuck in a bad situation. I think we all know why he is here. The “self inflicted safety heard around the world” is hard to live down. The most admirable or stone cold crazy part of his Lions tenure is the resilience. After playing a role in a historic 0-16 campaign. Orlovsky came back for more. He re signed with club for the 2014-2016 seasons to wrap up his career. His number should be retired for that commitment.
17) Joey Harrington- Oh my, where to start with our boy Joey. Let’s just go with this. Harrington’s best game at Ford Field was an epic Thanksgiving Day performance. Passed for 213 yards and three touchdowns in a victory. The catch? Harrington was playing for Miami Dolphins. That’s how I will choose to remember Harrington.
18) Gus Ferotte- Let’s take a ride on the Gus bus. Trust me kids. What I’m going to tell you actually happened. In a nationally televised 1997 game. Ferotte scored a touchdown. He celebrated by ramming his head into a wall. This sprained his neck and probably gave himself a concussion. They didn’t really check back in the old days. Could you imagine what the internet would have done with this story in the 21st century.
At this point you might say this could only happen to the Lions. Nope Ferotte was playing for the Washington Football Team. After Washington released him. The Lions decided they needed some of that. Not only did Ferotte play for the Lions. He started a playoff game in place of the aforementioned injured Charlie Batch. It didn’t go well as the Lions lost to… you guessed it.. the Washington Football Team.
19) Andre Ware– When I think of Andre Ware. I think of envy. Not the emotion, but the movie. I promise this is the last cinematic reference. Envy was a 2004 comedy starring Ben Stiller and Jack Black. A movie with two comedic titans directed by legendary director Sam Levinson (Rain Man, Good Morning Vietnam). The reviews weren’t great but I still rented the movie with excitement (I’m old I know) How could it possibly be bad with that lineup? It was atrocious. It has a 8% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Do you know how hard that is?
There was no reason why Andre Ware should not have worked in Detroit. He ran the same Run N Shoot offense to record setting Heisman winning proportions in college. He would be handing the ball off to Barry Sanders. His blind side was protected by Lomas Brown. Like the movie he had everything a young QB needed to be successful. Also like the movie it was an abject failure. Never even came close. I have no idea why. Like Orlovsky has became a good broadcaster. It just wasn’t going to happen in Detroit.
20) Ty Detmer- Another record setting Heisman winning quarterback. However Detmer did not come with high expectations. His little trophy made him a 9th round draft pick. That’s not a typo. Could you imagine the NFL looking at Baker Mayfield’s slight stature and saying you are going undrafted? Maybe they should have. Let’s stay focused. Once in the league. Detmer worked his way onto rosters with the Packers, Eagles, and 49ers. Heck he even backed up Rodney Peete at one time. However he was always traded or released.
One person had high expectations for Detmer. That would be new Lions head coach Marty Mornhinweg. Mornhinweg gave up a 4th round pick to get Detmer from the expansion era Browns. They were probably going to cut him. Detmer was Marty’s guy. Coached him in San Francisco, After one game Mornhinweg decided he had seen enough of Charlie Batch. He handed the job to Detmer because he “knew his offense”. How well did Detmer know the offense? Against the vaunted Cleveland Browns. Detmer threw a few interceptions. I’ll now channel a Cleveland spots legend to describe those INT’s. “Not one, not two, not three, not four…..” For brevity I’ll stop the quote right there. LeBron eventually stopped by saying the Heat would win seven championships.
LeBron didn’t make it to that number. Unfortunately Detmer did. Not in the season. In the game. Detmer threw seven… that’s right seven picks in his starting debut. Surely that would have been enough to bench him. Nope, would go onto to start three more games. Heck he played three full seasons with the Lions. I was out on the Matt Millen/Mornhinweg era at that point. It appears everyone else was as well.
21) Scott Mitchell- Blacjack! The 21st spot is reserved for one the greatest blunders in Lions history. Let’s get the obligatory disclaimer out of the way. Mitchell did play well at times leading the Lions to two playoff appearances. That being said, it often felt like he was the weak link holding the team back.
Where to start with this train wreck. How about this quote from Vikings VP and chief contract negotiator Scott Diamond
“I think we were offering a crazy deal, but Lions offered an insane deal.”
Oh how I miss the candor of the mid 90’s. Could you imagine an executive going on record like this today? Perhaps he felt comfortable because his franchise chose to sign future Hall of Famer Warren Moon. Oh what could have been. The Lions chose to give a multi year contract to a former fourth round pick with seven career starts.
I’ve deservedly beat up the organization. However it’s important to remember what the mid 90’s Lions were. They were loaded. Barry Sanders, Herman Moore, and a good offensive line. This was like giving the keys of a Ferrari to kid with a learners permit. That was basically how it looked. Periods of high performance due to the engine. With the driver just struggling to keep it on the road.
As this column has shown. A viscous cycle ensued. Mitchell would play bad or get hurt. Then a steady veteran like Krieg or Majikowski would come in and right the ship. Followed by the Lions and their version of Stockholm Syndrome. Always going back to Mitchell.
I mentioned that Mitchell did lead the Lions to the playoffs. How did that go? The Philadelphia Eagles absolutely boat raced them. It was painful to watch. A staggering 51-7 margin with nine minutes to go in the third quarter. You don’t see scores like that often in the NFL period. Let alone in the cue Jim Mora PLAYOFFS!!
Surely this can explained by the unleashing of a new offensive genius in a young Andy Reid. Nope, the pre Reid Eagles were head coached by defensive minded Ray Rhodes. Well then these were the Eagles of dynamic dual threat QB’s like Randall Cunningham and Donovan McNabb. Wrong again. The starter for the Eagles was the one and only Rodney Peete. The irony of it all. You simply can’t make this stuff up.
The icing on the cake of putrid performance. How should I put this delicately. People just didn’t seem to like the guy. Years later all pro lineman Lomas Brown drew attention by claiming he stopped blocking for Mitchell. The coup de grace was the greatest Halloween party in NFL history.
In 1996 Scott Mitchell decided it would be funny to dress up as head coach Wayne Fontes. It wasn’t a flattering costume, He chomped on a cigar, stuffed his stomach with pillows, topping off the ensemble with Mickey Mouse ears. You might wonder why was this such a big deal. Players deserve to have a little fun in down time behind closed doors.
This wasn’t behind closed doors. Mitchell actually sought out a local TV crew and was eager to unleash his impersonation of the embattled coach. Here’s an experiment you should not try. Make fun of your bosses on TV or social media with your name attached to it. See how it works out for you. Amazingly Mitchell might have showed better decision making on the field. That’s not saying much.
How do you think Mitchell fared when the likable Fontes was replaced with the militaristic Bobby Ross? Charlie Batch mercifully ended Mitchell’s five year run as a starter. Another reason Batch earns the top spot on this list.
In summation I joked in the beginning thar this was a “labor of love”. In the process of writing. It was more painful and darker than I remembered. Cherish the kickoff in Kansas City tomorrow. Cling to this moment of Lions national relevance. It wasn’t always— scratch that. It has never been this way.
