The LeBron Anonymous Meeting (Part 2)
If you missed the first installment of this series. You can find it here. I would encourage you to read it, as you might be mightily confused otherwise.
Act 4: The Break
Anthony Davis converses with Chris Bosh in the corner. Still unsure of what to do in this most unusual meeting of former NBA big men
Davis: I don’t know CB. I still feel like I don’t belong here. I mean everyone is retired. I still have time…
Bosh: Oh, the LeBron Anonymous group has active members. You’ll hear from them after the break. How do think Kyrie found out about it?
Davis: Wait Ky is a member? Why he isn’t he here then? I mean the meeting is in Dallas?
Bosh: Don’t worry about that right now. You’re here to focus on yourself.
Davis: But what am supposed to do? I’m happy, I get millions of dollars to play the game of basketball. This seems a little extreme.
Bosh: You didn’t appear that way at the top of the grassy knoll, You seemed confused and somewhat despondent. Why don’t I go first after the break and show you how things work. I think are stories are similar.
Act 5: The Meeting (cont)
Antawn: Back to order gentleman. I understand one of our flagship members would like to start off the second half of our meeting.
Bosh: Hi my name is Chris and I’m a LeBron aholic.
Group: (in unison) Hi Chris
Bosh: I was just a boy from right here in Dallas. I was balling out in another country. There wasn’t much I hadn’t done. All Stars, Gold Medal, All American accolades throughout high school and college. I had nothing to prove, I was just tired of… playing in Toronto. That doesn’t make me odd or a prima donna. Just another on the long list of NBA players who wanted out of Canada.
The group sighs and nods in unison
Bosh: Well the story has just been mangled over the years. Yes we talked about teaming up as a collective. But who is this group hasn’t done that over a game of cards? (Another synchronized nod) So me and this guy named Dwyane shared the same agent. He tells me his team in Miami is going to have a ton of cap space and wants to sign me. Well that was an easy decision. Toronto or South Beach? He then just casually throws in the fact that LeBron might come too.
Davis is surprised by this version
Bosh: I’m generally a pretty savvy NBA guy. I understand the salary cap. I know he would have to take less money to do this, so I put the whole LeBron thing out of my mind. So much so that Dwyane and I make our announcements about Miami together on ESPN. Everyone forgets thar part of the story. There was no big three. Just the big two of Dwyane and I. They asked an awkward question in our interview and Dwyane makes some type of plea for LeBron to join. But go back and look at my face. I’m not crazy about it.
It’s all coming back to AD now. He faintly remembers this because he thought Bosh and Wade might come as a duo to his hometown of Chicago
Bosh: So I’m down in Miami signing my deal. And then the Heat say they want to hold off until LeBron makes his decision. I guess he was going to do it on TV from some Boys and Girls Club. When I hear it’s in Connecticut, I figure he’s going to the Knicks. I’m still not worried. Then… I’m still not sure what happened. Next thing I know the Heat are asking me to take a little less money because LeBron wants to come. I mean what was I going to say..no?
Antawn: Don’t beat yourself up Chris. You did the right thing.
Bosh: I know, but them out of nowhere. They say they want to hold some type of pep rally THAT NIGHT. I went from a simple press conference and a night on the beach. To a pay cut and a freaking pep rally with adult men. I’m a low key guy, this was a circus. They paraded us out there like professional wrestlers. LeBron said we were going to win like “not five, not six, not seven championships” I just wanted to get off the stage. As I went to bed that night. I took solace in the fact that everything would eventually settle down. I mean…
Group: (this time finishing Chris’ sentiment that has become the refrain of the night) HOW BAD COULD IT BE…
Bosh: You all saw it. Yeah we won two championships. But it was four years of drama, trade rumors, and scapegoating. Every time something went wrong or the Pacers pushed us to seven. It was “what can the Heat get for Bosh”? Yeah I got paid, yeah I won two championships, but it also came with a lot of baggage. Then just like that, LeBron was gone. Dwyane got to fly on the private jet with him, he did the press conferences. But I wasn’t given any notice. I was just left with an old aging veteran team. Within two years my career was over. Yes, that was due to health. But as everyone in the room can attest to, it was over long before that.
The group collectively sighs, a few are even wiping away some tears
Antawn: Chris we appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. I’ll be delicate though. This isn’t your first meeting. We’ve heard all this before. Are you still struggling with this?
Bosh: I thought I was over it. I thought I was ready to move to the final level. And then something happened to bring all the pain back.
Davis furrows his unibrow… the final level?
Bosh: Then Rich Paul goes on the Pat McAfee show and insinuates that the Heat were not a big three! They were the ones that dragged me up on that stage. Floated my name in trade rumors. Then 15 years later… I have to hear that garbage!
Antawn: It’s ok Chris… it’s ok. This is a safe space. It’s not right. You might not feel better tonight. But we’ll get through it together.
Bosh return to his seat. Davis pats him on the shoulder. The room is shaken and quiet. The silence is broken by the voice of that pesky little doorman.
Diminutive Voice: Password
New Voice: Fit out, not in
The door swings open and a new person enters. He is different. He looks oddly at peace, and he is… well.. he’s white
New Member: Hi guys sorry I’m late. But I’m still in the playoffs. I got out of Cleveland as soon as I could (pauses) not the first time I’ve done that I guess. But it was important to be here. I think I’m ready for the final level.
Antawn: Follow the format and then we will decide as a group.
New Member: Oh sorry, Hi I’m Kevin and I’m a LeBron aholic.
Group: Hi Kevin
Kevin: Well I’ll make it quick. I was a star among stars. I was just wanted out of cold and snowy Minnesota. Not the first guy to want that. Didn’t make me a bad guy. I thought I had hit the lottery. They were going to send me to California to play with this young guy named Steph. He was a shooter and was constantly in motion. We would be a perfect fit. I played college ball in the Golden State and my uncle was a Beach Boy. You couldn’t have scripted it any better.
Pause… everyone knows what’s coming next
Kevin: The story is that Jerry West nixed the deal from the Warriors end. But… come on.. he was just an advisor for the team. He wasn’t the GM. Everything changed when LeBron wanted to go back to Cleveland and he needed…
Group: (cutting Kevin off and in unison) LeBron needed a veteran All Star big man to do the dirty work down low.
Kevin: Sorry I forgot, you’ve all been there before. I’ll speed things up. I figured how bad can it… oh sorry you’ve heard that before too. I won a championship, got paid, but it was all hollow. Scapegoated, trade rumors, and cryptic tweets constantly followed me. I’m still trying to figure out what “fit out, not in” means.
Antawn: So why are you ready for the final level Kevin?
Kevin: I feel like I’ve grown a lot. Like everyone here. My career as a superstar was essentially over after LeBron left me high and dry in Cleveland. But I dealt with it well. I worked through a mental health crisis and became an advocate for that cause. I’ve carved out a role as veteran role player. And the icing on the cake… now I just laugh in the face of locker room drama and adversity.
Antawn: How so?
Kevin: I had a front row sea for the trade drama of Jimmy But… sorry no full names I forgot. In the midst of all of that I just memed and GIFed my way through it on Instagram. I mean my team was falling apart in the twilight of my career and I simply accepted it.
Antawn: Acceptance that is the goal of this group. You make a compelling case Kevin. What does the group think?
Everyone nods in approval
Antawn: Well Kevin. You have advanced. You next meeting will be held at Kyrie’s house. Say hello to Zydrunas and JR for me.
Davis nods and understands the final level. He is getting ready to speak when all of sudden the voice of the diminutive doorman breaks up what was special moment
Diminutive Doorman: Kyrie.. Kyrie.. I’ve had enough! His acceptance was my downfall. I want to talk now.
Antawn: I don’t think you are ready. What does the group think?
The group collectively nods
Diminutive Doorman: My name is Isaiah and I’m a major LeBron aholic.
Shaquille: Oh I like this guy. He just ripped LeBron on TV like me.
Isaiah: Not that Isaiah, I’m the one who came up from bottom of the second round. I fought and clawed for everything. I was an emerging hero in Boston. I had a giant bag money just waiting for me there.
Isaiah’s mood darkens
Isaiah: Then Kyrie allegedly see the light and asks for a trade out of Cleveland. I’m shipped out. What nobody knows is I basically have a broken hip. I could have just shut it down. But they convince me that I’m the star that can keep LeBron in Cleveland. Well we know how that ends. He treated me like a rental car. Ignored me after a game winning shot and shipped me out at the trade deadline. Never got that bag of money, now I’m 36 years old and playing in the G-League in Utah…
Deafening Silence
Isaiah: Got awfully quiet in here. None of you can match that. Y’all got paid, got rings. I’m pushing 40 and playing in the minor leagues in Utah.
Antawn: It’s not about comparison. It’s about acceptance, and we still have a ways to go Isaiah, we will get there together.
The group attention shifts as Anthony Davis slowly rises to his feet.
Davis: My name is Anthony and I’m a.. I’m a.. I’m a LeBron aholic.
Group: Hi Anthony..
Davis: I’m new to this, but I’ll do my best. I just.. I just.. wanted a new agent. I didn’t love New Orleans, but it wasn’t the worst place on Earth. I mean I won a college championship there. The pace fit my personality. These guys from this place called Klutch said they would represent me and give me what I needed. I knew they worked for LeBron, but I figured that wouldn’t hurt.
Antawn: Your doing good Anthony. You don’t have to share everything. This is just a start.
Davis: Well next thing I know I’m supposedly unhappy in New Orleans. Alvin Gentry was my guy. He was now mad at me. They made up something about how my injuries were the fault of a training staff that was only focused on the Saints. I mean I guess, but come on, I get hurt a lot. It’s not their fault. It’s.
Antawn: It’s not your fault Anthony
Davis: Well it all happened so fast, it’s like a blur. I’m wearing a shirt that says “that’s all folks” on closing night. I actually had a chance to play with Zion Williamson. But a trade was already in the works to send me to LA. Somehow I’m in the new Space Jam movie. I’m in viral “Taco Tuesday” videos. Kobe dies and we win a championship in a bubble in Disney World. I mean my goodness.
Antawn: It’s not your fault Anthony
Davis: I don’t need to go over the downfall. You all know how it goes. The scapegoating. I get the nickname of “Streetclothes” I try to play through injuries. I’m not good enough. (voice rising) Trade rumors… trade rumors? At least you guys got the courtesy of trade rumors! I just woke up one morning in Dallas!
Antawn: It’s not your fault Anthony
Davis: So now I’m hurt again and stuck in a town that doesn’t want me. The kicker is well.. the kicker. They tried to make it sound like they had nothing to do with this trade. That it was all secret. They actually asked me to waive my trade kicker. They knew.. they knew… all along about the trade.
Antawn: Thank you for sharing Anthony. I think that is enough for your first time. Like Isaiah, we will get there together. Let’s now close with what helps us the most.
The group rises to recite LA Serenity Prayer
Group:
Naismith
Help us to accept the fact the LeBron is a generational talent. Help us understand the league had a financial interest in seeing his success. Therefore any failing could not be placed on him by the media. It’s not his fault that he was under a microscope as a teenager. He’s a good guy, who got caught up in the hype and a tough situation
Help us also to accept the fact test we too are NBA greats who are simply collateral damage in this cauldron and overwhelming media storm
And the courage the live out these differences
Amen
Antawn: Thank you all for coming. Where should we hold our next meeting?
Davis: I think we should hold it right here again. I have a feeling we will have a new member again in a few weeks. He will coming through town to clean out his house. His name is Luk…
Fade to black…
Note: This is intended to be a humorous and lighthearted article. The format of an Alcoholic’s Anonymous meeting is used as the backdrop. This is NOT meant to make light or demean the work this organization has done to help millions of people globally.
